Pull up a stool at the Formica wood-grain bar and nurse that Zombie Dust like you’ve got nowhere else to be. The first time I walked into Frank & Mary’s, the grandmotherly woman behind the bar gave my friend and me a long, head-to-toe assessment before helpfully offering, “So you’re here for the Zombie Dust?” She’s clearly used to sussing out the hipsters and craft beer heads who venture up Elston for the hard-to-find Three Floyds APA on draft, but it can’t be difficult when the rest of the clientele is composed of single, middle-aged men nursing High Lifes while half-watching the Cubs on the tiny corner-mounted TVs. It’s a delightful way to spend an afternoon downtown. Belly up to the bar, grab a frosty one and strike up a conversation with the friendly regulars about how the weather is. The walls are wood panel, the lighting is bad and the music is wonderful. They’ve got all types of dusty, nefarious looking liquors on their shelves but stick with the cheap standbys. The bartenders are blond, tan and friendly and treat their regulars like family. Depending on when you arrive, it’s a mix of retirees, co-workers unwinding after a day of work and day traders grabbing a round. Nestled in under the brown line tracks, it’s one of the lovely dark spots in the Loop to escape tourists, office workers and judgement. If you love cheap whiskey, classic rock, country music and geriatrics, the Sky Ride Tap is one of the better places downtown to spend your afternoon. Step out of this dimension and enter a room suspended in time and go check out Richard’s. even when the noontime sun shines brightly outside. In fact, one of my personal requirements for a bar to qualify as an old man bar is that it’s the sort of joint that still feels like it’s 3 a.m. The room is dark and cozy, even when the bar opens its doors at 7 a.m. The smell of cigarettes is baked into the walls of Richard’s, a sure sign that it’s a prime location for gathering folks from an “older generation.” The vibe is super laid back and low-key, a welcome respite from the raucous rumble coming from Emmit’s Irish Pub and all the 20-somethings within looking to get laid.